FOAAS

Fuck Off As A Service

v0.1.7

Introduction

FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.

What's New in 0.1.7

API

Content Negotiation

FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' values with appropriate content

Operations

Path Description
/version Will return content with the current FOAAS version number.
/operations Will return a JSON list of operations with names and fields. Note: JSON Only
/off/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck off, Tom - Chris'
/you/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck you, Tom - Chris'
/this/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Chris will return 'Fuck this. - Chris'
/that/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Chris will return 'Fuck that. - Chris'
/everything/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Chris will return 'Fuck everything. - Chris'
/everyone/:from Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :name', e.g. /everyone/Tom will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Tom'
/donut/:name/:from Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Tom/Chris will return 'Tom, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Chris'
/shakespeare/:name/:from Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Falstaff/Prince%20Henry will return 'Falstaff, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Prince Henry
/linus/:name/:from Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from'. e.g. /linus/Tom/Chris
/king/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from'. e.g. /king/Tom/Chris
/pink/:from Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from'. e.g. /pink/Tom
/life/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Phil will return 'Fuck my life. - Phil'.
/chainsaw/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Chris/Heather will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Chris. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Heather'.
/outside/:name/:from Will return content of the form ':name, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - :from', e.g. /outside/BigBrother/TheWorld will return 'BigBrother, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - TheWorld'.
/:thing/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck :thing. - :from', e.g. /pineapples/%E2%99%A5%20Chris will return 'Fuck pineapples. - ♥ Chris'
/thanks/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from'.
/flying/:from Will return content of the form 'I don't give a flying fuck. - :from'. e.g. /flying/batman
/fascinating/:from Will return content of the form 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? - :from'.
/madison/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard, :name. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points :name, and may God have mercy on your soul. - :from'
/cool/:from 'Cool story, Bro - :from'
/field/:name/:from/:reference Will return content of the form 'And :name said unto :from, "Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks", and :from gave witness unto the field, and saw that it was barren. - :reference'
/nugget/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Well :name, aren't you a shining example of a rancid fuck-nugget. - :from'
/yoda/:name/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, you must, :name. - :from'.
/ballmer/:name/:company/:from Will return content of the form 'Fucking :name is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill :company. - :from'
/what/:from Will return content of the form 'What the fuck?!. - :from".
/because/:from Will return content of the form 'Why? Because Fuck you, that's why. - :from'.
/caniuse/:tool/:from Will return content of the form 'Can you use :tool? Fuck no! - :from'.
/bye/:from Will return content of the form 'Fuckity bye! - :from'.
/diabetes/:from Will return content of the form 'I'd love to stop and chat to you but I'd rather have type 2 diabetes. - :from'.
/bus/:name/:from Will return content of the from 'Christ on a bendy-bus, :name, don't be such a fucking faff-arse. - :from'.
/xmas/:name/:from Will return content of the from 'Merry Fucking Christmas, :name. - :from'.
/bday/:name/:from Will return content of the from 'Happy Fucking Birthday, :name. - :from'.
/awesome/:from Will return content of the form 'This is Fucking Awesome. - :from', , e.g. /awesome/Macklemore will return 'This is Fucking Awesome. - Macklemore'
/tucker/:from Will return content of the form 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. - :from', e.g. /tucker/Malcolm+Tucker will return 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. - Malcolm Tucker'
/bucket/:from Will return content of the form 'Please choke on a bucket of cocks. - :from'.
/family/:from Will return content of the from 'Fuck you, your whole family, your pets, and your feces. - :from'.
/shutup/:name/:from Will return content of the form ':name, shut the fuck up. - :from'.
/zayn/:from Will return content of the form 'Ask me if I give a motherfuck ?!! - :from'.

Filters

Filters are optional output modifiers, and are specified by adding the filter name as query to the HTTP request, e.g. http://foaas.com/off/Tom/Everyone?shoutcloud

Name Description
shoutcloud Integration with the ShoutCloud service. Please see shoutcloud.io for details.
i18n Translation provided by mymemory.translated.net. Specifying ?i18n on its own will attempt to detect your browser language, or you can specify the language to translate to using the ISO 639-1 language code, i.e. ?i18n=es

Filters can be used in combinations, e.g. http://foaas.com/off/Tom/Everyone?shoutcloud&i18n=de

Roadmap

FOASS will be extended to include the following functionality:

All contributions are very welcome.

Follow @foaas on twitter!

Fork me on github

Created by @TomDionysus

Maintained with loving Profanity by @philip2156, @chris_beckett