FOAAS

Fuck Off As A Service

v0.0.4

Introduction

FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.

Content Negotiation

FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' values with appropriate content

API

/version

Will return content with the current FOAAS version number.

/operations

Will return a JSON list of operations with names and fields. Note: JSON Only

/off/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck off, Tom - Chris'

/you/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck you, Tom - Chris'

/this/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Chris will return 'Fuck this. - Chris'

/that/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Chris will return 'Fuck that. - Chris'

/everything/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Chris will return 'Fuck everything. - Chris'

/everyone/:from

Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :name', e.g. /everyone/Tom will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Tom'

/donut/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Tom/Chris will return 'Tom, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Chris'

/shakespeare/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Falstaff/Prince%20Henry will return 'Falstaff, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Prince Henry

/linus/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from'.

/king/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from'.

/pink/:from

Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from'.

/life/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Phil will return 'Fuck my life. - Phil'

/chainsaw/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Chris/Heather will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Chris. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Heather'.

/outside/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - :from', e.g. /outside/BigBrother/TheWorld will return 'BigBrother, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - TheWorld'.

/:thing/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck :thing. - :from', e.g. /pineapples/%E2%99%A5%20Chris will return 'Fuck pineapples. - ♥ Chris'

/thanks/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from'.

/flying/:from

Will return content of the form 'I don't give a flying fuck. - :from'.

/fascinating/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? - :from'.

/madison/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard, :name. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points :name, and may God have mercy on your soul. - :from'

/cool/:from

'Cool story, Bro - :from'

/field/:name/:from/:reference

Will return content of the form 'And :from said on to :name, "Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks", and :name gave witness onto the field, and saw that it was barren. - :reference'

/nugget/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Well :name, aren't you a shining example of a rancid fuck-nugget. - :from'

/yoda/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, you must, :name. - :from'.

/ballmer/:name/:company/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fucking :name is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill :company. - :from'

/what/:from

Will return content of the form 'What the fuck?!. - :from".

/because/:from

Will return content of the form 'Why? Beacuse Fuck you, that's why. - :from'.

/caniuse/:tool/:from

Will return content of the form 'Can you use :tool? Fuck no! - :from'.

Roadmap

FOASS will be extended to include the following functionality:

All contributions are very welcome.

Follow @foaas on twitter!

Fork me on github

Created by @TomDionysus

Maintained with loving Profanity by @philip2156, @chris_beckett